It Changes People

I gave a talk to a a group of businesswomen that evening.  The topic was probably supposed to be how they could help victims of domestic violence.  I don’t think I was able to do that but I was apparently able to use our collective shock and disbelief as the basis for a pretty competent talk about what happens to people when they experience random violence. It changes them.  It changed me.

I spent part of the next day with my grandfather.  The tragedy broke his heart.  He said he couldn’t imagine anything worse. He left us a few days later.

When I went home it was to a man who was angry at the rest of us for ‘making such a big deal out of this thing.’

Random violence changes people.  It changed me.

I no longer work in the field of child abuse and domestic violence:  it made me a less effective human being. I am committed to doing things that work.

I wrote a book for parents — positive, uplifting, supportive.

My work now has to do with different way to help people (especially kids) to prepare for life’s ‘ups and downs.’ To be more resilient. More solution-focused.

I got single in a hurry.

I try to be more aware and more congruent — to do things that bring joy and add value. I do not view that as selfish but as necessary if I am going to improve anything for anyone else.

And when I wonder if I’m headed down the right road I think about how often the Dalai Lama laughs.