Family Stories

Aug 202014
 

Today’s guest author is my 16-year-old “bonus son” who has spent another summer with us, creating more new “family stories and legends.”
04340026

My name is Luis. I am half-German and half-American. I grew up in Berlin, Germany and, of course, spoke only German. Even though my Dad speaks only English, we had good visits when I was growing up: I got to see his world in the U.S. and he got to see some of Berlin. We had a strong connection but no direct, untranslated verbal communication.

Like all kids in Berlin, I started learning English in the 3rd grade. I never felt like being lazy about it. I wanted to communicate directly with my Dad. Even though I had not yet met all of them, knowing that I had a large, extended American family gave me even more motivation and discipline.

04340040

[Tweet “My desire to know my American family has been important in developing my love of language.”]

Learning a new language meant — and still means — entering a whole new world. All the experiences that come with being immersed in another culture become both easier and more intense.

My extended American family did not know me either and they did not help with my actual studies but the desire to know them has been important in developing my love of language. I am in the 11th grade and, in addition to English, am learning three more languages.

Languages are the doors to new cultures and their people… vacations and their unique experiences and special moments. These things can become knowledge and wisdom… family stories and legends.  Coming to America each summer improves my English and deepens my connection to this part of my family and my American roots.

Now when we spend time together I’m as likely as anyone to start the flood of family stories by saying, “Remember the time….”

IMG_2329

[Tweet “These things can become knowledge & wisdom,  family stories & legends.”]

Related articles

Inner Critic Chatter

Aug 132014
 

 

 

Spinosaurus - 04

Spinosaurus – 04 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

“You can’t do that — you’re not good enough, smart enough, tall enough, pretty enough….” or “What do you mean you’re not signing your kids up for soccer, art appreciation and Conversational Mandarin? How are they going to keep up?”   It’s back: the Inner Critic chatter with the power to turn even the most competent parent into a quivering mess.

The pain of Inner Critic chatter is common:  writers dread “the Inner Editor” and folks in the recovery community speak of “the Addict in the Attic.”  Regardless of our primary role on a given day, there’s some form of the relentlessly self-critical voice in our heads available to shake our confidence.

As parents we seem especially vulnerable to the part of the brain so good at fault-finding and the amplification of fear.  It makes sense:

  • all parents want what’s best for their kids: protecting them from harm is part of that
  • having children seems to wake up (or intensify) the ability to perceive threat
  • much of our power to perceive danger lives in the “old brain”
  • primitive instincts don’t always mesh well with modern circumstance

It helps to recognize that critical inner voice as part the hard-wired early warning system we share with any species that has survived.  That’s both good and bad news:  it’s not going away but we can learn to manage it.[Tweet “Primitive instincts don’t always mesh well with our modern circumstances…”]

Next time your Inner Critic roars,  stop and check in with yourself.  What, specifically, is stressing you that moment?  Then, give your Inner Critic its due. How might you be interpreting that stress as a threat to the survival of you or your loved ones?

Let’s return to the after-school example.  Faced with a full schedule and a child is pining after lots of pricey options, you set a limit and choose one.  Immediately “that voice” starts. You’re tempted to second guess.

Instead of questioning your worth, try asking yourself a question like this:  have I internalized a message that Conversational Mandarin (or one of the other choices) is absolutely essential to earning a living in the future? Or that my child won’t have the same earning opportunities as other kids?  Now translate that message for your primitive brain where “earning” equals “eating.”

Does your anxiety about the decision make a little more sense now?  That primitive part of the brain has decided that this is a “life or death” decision.  It probably isn’t… so you can thank your Inner Critic ….and move on to school supplies!

[Tweet “Thank your #InnerCritic and move on to buying school supplies!”]

##

 

Related articles

 

 

 Inner Critic Chatter  August 13, 2014  Posted by at 5:53 am 12 Responses »

Creativity and Kids

Aug 062014
 

 

The ballerina princess Goalkeeper!

The ballerina princess Goalkeeper! (Photo credit: Beaumonth (Updated))

I have been enjoying blog posts from Minette Riordan for some time.  Today we are fortunate to have a guest post from her.  Enjoy!

##

From the time she could pull on her own clothes, my daughter has had a distinct love of playing dress-up. At age three, she would regularly waltz through our life proudly sporting cowboy boots, a tutu and her fairy wings.

My daughter wore that outfit everywhere for about a year and I just let her. I tried to nurture her love of color and texture. [Tweet “We are delighted to offer a guest post from Minette Riordan today.”] By allowing her to dream, she is learning to dream big.

Creativity is key to our children’s success but according to many recent studies, our children are becoming less and less creative. As a parent, I find this both sad and scary. Creativity is at the core of genius in every discipline. At the root of creative thinking is our ability to imagine what could be possible. Without this type of imagination, we would not have airplanes, electricity or vacuum cleaners.

All children are creative. It’s how they learn, explore the world and solve problems. I firmly believe that [Tweet “…we have to get our children outside, away from television, the internet and video games and remind them that human interaction is still their most important life skill”]

Nurturing your child’s creativity is fun and easy to do with just a small effort on your part.

Please don’t confuse artistic talent with creativity. Every child is unique and creative, just like my daughter with her early passion for playing dress-up. The number one key to nurturing your child’s creative spirit is to listen and to watch. What are they interested in? Find out more about their interests; indulge them, even if their passion only lasts a week or a month.

Create opportunities for your child to experience different people, cultures, environments and adventures. You don’t have to travel around the world to make this happen. A trip around the neighborhood, to the local library, museum or the grocery store can open up a new world to your child. You will benefit, too, from these adventures in creativity.

Invite your children to talk about what they see, to draw pictures of or to make up a story that describes their adventures. Or have them build their story with Lego, popsicle sticks or rocks and sticks in the backyard!

I believe that it is our responsibility to raise the future leaders of our world, to raise children who know how to think for themselves, who have opinions and know how to ask questions. Every brilliant invention started with a question and the search for an answer.

##

Dr. Minette Riordan is an award-winning entrepreneur, author and coach who specializes in helping creative entrepreneurs to grow their business. She owned a parenting magazine for 11 years and is passionate about helping kids and adults tap into their creative genius.  You can learn more about her at www.minetteriordan.com  Or connect now via Twitter or her Facebook Page

##

Related articles
 Older Entries  Newer Entries