What Kids Need to Succeed

(Mechanic's Grip diagram used to illustrate the way to hold playing cards for magic tricks or cheating. Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I love language and am intrigued by its power.  And today I find myself thinking about a little two-word combo that holds big power for so many parents.  Wondering what they are?

So many possibilities, right?  “Think big.” “Live strong.” “Time flies.” “Forever love.” “Take action.” “Make memories.” “See success.” “Finally bedtime.”

All good… but not nearly as powerful as these. Ready?

“I’m bored.”

(To get the full impact try hearing them pronounced like this:  ‘I’m bo-ooo-r-ud’)

Think I’m exaggerating?  Think about the number of times that, upon hearing this set of ‘magic words,’ you’ve seen parents leap into action like super heroes.  The quickly search their repertoire of activities and entertainment to find that one special thing that will quickly put an end to the dreaded condition called boredom.

What’s wrong with this picture?

It makes me wonder why so many parents believe that boredom is bad and  it’s their job to ‘fix’ it.  If  we respond like cruise ship activities directors on steroids what are we doing for our kids?  What do they take away from our behavior?

Actions can undermine both words and intention.  Our behavior could be saying:

• You deserve to be passively entertained.

• Your uncomfortable feelings are very important.

• Uncomfortable feelings should be avoided at all costs.

• Someone or something outside of you is responsible for ‘fixing’ your feelings.

And even if  those aren’t their take-way messages, have you given thought to what happens when you’re not around to entertain them? And, if we build our schedules and priorities around filling and enriching and stimulating their ever waking moment, how will they  function as part of a group or in a classroom setting?

I’m a huge fan of introducing children (and grown-ups) to new ideas and experiences.  Novelty is great.  And so is management.  How can we help kids develop the ability to manage boredom on their own?

We live in an amazing time with now shortage of things to learn and do and think about and try.  And, given the opportunity, our kids will discover their passions and interests. But giving them that opportunity means we need to manage some of our own uncomfortable feelings  long enough to let them figure it out.

They’ll amaze you.