Jan 122012
 

Anyone having a holiday hangover??

Holidays can be tough. Although it flies in the face of  the story we tell ourselves every year there are gaps between what we WANT and what we HAVE…. between what we PLAN and what actually HAPPENS.  It’s hard not to get caught up in the swirl of gifts and get-togethers, meals and misunderstandings.  And then, of course, there are the overs:  over spending, over eating and all sorts of other opportunities for over indulgence.

It can really hurt when we see the results in our children.

Have you ever experienced that awful feeling in the pit of the stomach that goes along with mentally tallying up the time and money you spent on holiday gifts… only to see them tossed aside as your little ones clamor for “MORE”?

UGH.

MORE.

It’s in our brains: to consume more food, acquire more ‘stuff,’ conquer more space….  is one of those lizard brain survival ‘things’ that’s been with us for a long time.

But it seems to me that lots of people are paying attention to that feeling and using it  to move toward both a smaller budget and a simpler life.  Circumstances are pushing people to think more about the difference between wants and needs…. about how to live a life that better reflects their values.

One of my favorite things about this time of year is the way that resolutions and planning for the New Year can help us focus on what is most meaningful in our lives.

“In 2012 I want more ______________ and less ________________ for myself and for my family.”

How do you fill in those blanks? What changes do you need to make to turn those “wants” into reality?

Dec 292011
 

Many years of work in the recovery community taught me a lot.  The past two weeks have served to remind me of the gajillion and six times I’ve said (and heard) this:  “Plan plans, not results.”

My husband and I had a fairly elaborate holiday schedule lined up:  a few short trips together to be with part of our family, “divide and conquer” to connect with the rest.  We had planned a stretched-out Christmas celebration that would allow one or both of us to be face-to-face with about three fourths of our large extended family.  Parents.  Adult kids. Sibs.  Grandbabies.

Joy!

When we woke up on the day I was to shuttle him to the airport we were handed an unexpected twist: hacking coughs and high fevers all around.  So it was off to Urgent Care rather than “Departures,” the druggist rather than dinner.  We stuffed our TSA-friendly packages into an Express Mail box and dragged to the post office counter with about an hour to spare.  And with that, Christmas was cancelled.  (Or at least what was left of it was postponed for awhile.)

As a result of the plans we had made there were no ingredients for a special dinner.  Since we were the “designated road warriors” there was no Christmas tree.  Apparently each of us intended to finish up our gifts for the other on the two days we were to be apart.

Somewhere along the line we pronounced it officially the weirdest Christmas ever.

A couch.  A love seat.  Pillows, blanket and dogs.  Juice, tissues and cough drops. Soup from the freezer and cinnamon toast for dessert. Short, sweet “I love you’s” by text and a few by phone.  A long distance video Yankee Swap gift exchange.  Laughing at ourselves and each other. Sleeping a lot. Finding the line between “disappointed about plans” and “making the best of the moment.”  OD’ing on movies. And, to top it off, while watching A Christmas Story, realizing neither of us felt well enough even to fetch Chinese takeout.

And wondering about whether or not we managed to teach our kids that sometimes not getting what you want can be a wonderful thing.

English: Maggie tired from watching her doggie...

Sometimes not getting what you want can be a wonderful thing. (Image via Wikipedia)