Family Planning?

Sep 112012
 

Learning to participate in the work that keeps a family functioning isn’t necessarily all dusting and sorting socks.

Would your kids enjoy planning and preparing a meal for the family?  How about  allowing them to plan a weekend outing?  Or, if they’re older, doing some of the research for a family trip? Creating music playlists for various family celebrations?

Family outing, from Robert N. Dennis collectio...

Family outing, from Robert N. Dennis collection of stereoscopic views (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Trusting our children with responsibility (and letting them meet it) lets them know that we see them as competent and capable.  That’s a powerful way to build confidence.

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Growing More Than Veggies

Apr 112012
 
Farmers Market

Image by tamaradulva via Flickr

Last year was not what I would call “a good garden year.”  I failed to keep up with the cucumber bugs and they did a number on about a quarter of the garden.  The good news?

  • I visited a lot of local farmers’ markets
  • I discovered a new produce market
  • I learned a lot

On a trip to the produce market, I watched an “employee” stand on his tiptoes to dump crushed ice on to one of the displays.  At the same time, his “employer” let him know that when he was finished with that task there was a label gun with his name on it.

Across the aisle, one of the managers said, “It’s hard for him.”

The employer responded, “I know.  That’s OK.  It’s good for him. He’ll figure it out.”

By now you’ve probably guessed that this is a family-run business and that the “employer”  and “manager”  are parents.  The  “employee” in question is their ten-year-old.  Naturally, I couldn’t resist complimenting them on letting their child participate in the family business.  The Mom (who had cautioned about the difficulties of icing displays) was happy to chat.  She was quick to let me know that her son preferred to come work with them than be with a sitter or  play with friends.  She and her husband we excited that their son was learning some of the skills and attitudes that had helped them build a successful business.

We all work hard to give our kids “the best”  and long hours can sometimes leave them wondering why we are gone so much of the time… sometimes even wondering if we like being at work more than we like being with them.  At the other end of the spectrum are parents who work from home but too often use their children as an excuse to not work the business like a business and then complain that others don’t take  them seriously.

What does your relationship with work look like from your child’s point of view?  What do they actually know about what you do?  And, is there a way they can get to know that part of your life?

Creative Chores? 8 Questions to Consider

Nov 142011
 
"I live in a German family and feel just ...

Image via Wikipedia

Helping your kids develop a healthy work ethic doesn’t have to become another dreaded chore on your never-ending parental “to do” list.  Sometimes all it takes is a willingness to  look at household chores with a new eye.

Lots of families choose to get together on Saturday morning to knock out the bulk of their household chores as a team.  Some parents struggle with getting everyone together and handing out assignments.  Others find it difficult to strike a balance between involving the kids and keeping their high housekeeping standards intact.

The important thing is that our kids develop the attitudes and skills they will later need to manage for themselves.  Try not to be too stressed out about “getting it perfect;” maybe thinking a bit about “what they are learning” will make the whole process a bit more fun for all of you.

What can be learned through Saturday morning cleaning dates?  Well, obviously, the ‘hands-on’ skills e.g. dusting, polishing, sweeping and the like.

But what about organizational skills?  And the sense of teamwork and mutual support that comes into play when we tackle real tasks as a family?

There’s something to be said for growing up with an age-appropriate level of responsibility that lets a kid enjoy the  feeling of being a competent, contributing member of the household.  It’s certainly better than sending them off to college believing that the Laundry Fairy is going continue to fill their dresser drawers!

And please don’t underestimate the negotiating skills and creativity that can come from trying to get out of these family cleaning session!  Of course, if we let them, our children will often surprise us with new and better ways to achieve the desired results.

How do you divide up work?  Does everyone get to do the work they most enjoy or does your family work on rotation?  Do you use a chore chart?  Drawing from a jar? Do the kids ever get to decide… well… how to decide?  (Planting the seeds of leadership and time management skills, perhaps?)

Do you use rewards? Subtract “points” for sub-par work? Or get together afterward for fun and FREE rewards:  a walk, a trip to the library, a bike ride or 15 minutes later to bed.

The simple act of  regularly completing chores on can help to develop good lifetime habits: discipline,  a strong work ethic… and empty trash cans!

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