How Are Those New Year’s Resolutions Holding Up?

Jan 152013
 

If it takes twenty-one days to develop a new habit… then it’s probably time to give those New Year’s plans a little ‘push.’

While I tend to favor adding small changes throughout the entire year, I also enjoy the boost I get from knowing there are lots of other people trying to improve at the same time.

If parental example is our children’s strongest teacher, what does your experience with change (in the form of New Year’s Resolutions) teach your kids? Are you teaching them to take a ‘crash diet and quit’ approach to change? Or, are you providing them an example of consistency and self-discipline that will help them learn to change? Or some sort of ‘tortoise-and-hare-jumpstart-on-the-way-to-new-habits’ combo, perhaps? When implementing change, consistency counts.

Even activities that may not be daily can still follow consistent patterns. Take a look at the patterns and rhythms of life in your family. What routines do you have for things like homework, spiritual practice, independent reading, recreation or family meals? How about for saving money, grocery shopping or vacation planning?

Talking with your kids about the manner in which small, daily choices can add up can help them understand that there is a great deal of the future that is totally under their control.

Showing them is irrefutable.

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Want help developing healthy new habits with your kids? Be sure to check out our new Parenting Toolkit with lots of ways to build skills with your kids.

More or Less….

Jan 122012
 

Anyone having a holiday hangover??

Holidays can be tough. Although it flies in the face of  the story we tell ourselves every year there are gaps between what we WANT and what we HAVE…. between what we PLAN and what actually HAPPENS.  It’s hard not to get caught up in the swirl of gifts and get-togethers, meals and misunderstandings.  And then, of course, there are the overs:  over spending, over eating and all sorts of other opportunities for over indulgence.

It can really hurt when we see the results in our children.

Have you ever experienced that awful feeling in the pit of the stomach that goes along with mentally tallying up the time and money you spent on holiday gifts… only to see them tossed aside as your little ones clamor for “MORE”?

UGH.

MORE.

It’s in our brains: to consume more food, acquire more ‘stuff,’ conquer more space….  is one of those lizard brain survival ‘things’ that’s been with us for a long time.

But it seems to me that lots of people are paying attention to that feeling and using it  to move toward both a smaller budget and a simpler life.  Circumstances are pushing people to think more about the difference between wants and needs…. about how to live a life that better reflects their values.

One of my favorite things about this time of year is the way that resolutions and planning for the New Year can help us focus on what is most meaningful in our lives.

“In 2012 I want more ______________ and less ________________ for myself and for my family.”

How do you fill in those blanks? What changes do you need to make to turn those “wants” into reality?

Time for a New Year Do-over?

Jan 252011
 

If it’s true that it takes 21 days to create a new habit, then some of you are feeling pretty good and are due some admiration and congratulations form the rest of us.  And some of you are feeling a bit discouraged… especially if you’re struggling to improve some behavior because you want to be a good example for your kids.

Many of us are “good quitters.”  We become expert at quitting smoking, starting a diet or buying a new calendar.  Why, then, are so many of us thinking about whether or not we want to jump start a resolution or wait until next year to try again?

While writing about mental habits for another project I was reminded why our bad habits are so difficult to break:  automation.

Habits are things that we’ve learned to do and practiced so much that we engage in them without even thinking about them.  In order to change, we need to help move them to another ‘section’ of our brains.  That seems to work better when we consciously set ourselves up to make the automatic behavior more difficult to do than the habit we’re trying to build.  For example, if I don’t let my buddies Ben and Jerry live in the freezer it becomes far easier to stay in my slippers and jammies…. to stay out of the car… and to eat an apple…. than it does to eat too much yummy, high-fat ice cream.

Apple picking Columbus weekend

What’s this got to do with our kids?  It’s that pesky ‘power of example’ thing again.  Is there a way that you can let them know about re-starting your goal – and maybe even get some support from them?

This might be a good idea for a couple for a few reasons.  Both going public and asking for support increase your chances of success.  Second, the opportunity to sit with your kids and talk about how habits are built and changed is a wonderful teachable moment.

Finally, they’ll get to see that Mom or Dad is able to pick up and move on when things don’t initially go according to plan.

And that may be the most valuable habit of all.