Big Dogs on the Brain?

May 282014
 

Not so scary after all.

 

Moments before arriving, a visiting friend reminded me that her small child was afraid of  dogs… especially BIG dogs. At the time, my family included a young,  intense German Shepherd Dog and a goofy, aging Lab.  Since neither could be described as ‘small,’ I promised my friend that I would kennel them for the afternoon so her daughter’s visit would not be ruined.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO: A friend reminded me her visiting child was afraid of dogs.
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Meeting for lunch before driving out to the house, I had a chance to chat with the little girl.  I explained that the dogs would bark when we arrived, that it was part of “their job.”  I also let her know they couldn’t get near her and asked her to help with their training by ignoring their noise.

Upon arrival, the dogs stopped barking almost instantly. They were intrigued.  My 5-year-old guest and I spent less than 10 minutes looking around in the barn and picking berries before she became fixated on the dogs and the kennel.

Before long she asked me if it was OK to bring them inside.  So, wearing training collars and leashes to help them pay attention, they sat quietly beside me. The grown-ups continued to talk about  ‘dog language‘ and how it is differs from ‘people language’, the way dogs rely on their noses to learn, that jumping and squealing encourage chasing, that calm behavior brings a calm response…. and that paying attention to these things can help kids stay safe.

FACE FEAR: The grown-ups talked about ‘dog language’ v. ‘people language’…
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My little friend asked if the dogs knew any tricks.  When I explained that to see one of them ‘perform’ the other would have to sit quietly beside her, the “formerly-frightened-of-big-dogs” child made my day.  She turned to her mother and said:

“Mom, these are not BIG dogs because I’m not afraid of them. I like them. These are MEDIUM dogs.”

Why is this such a favorite story?

  • Because it speaks to the power of support, data, exposure and engagement to overcome prejudice and fear.
  • It’s an example of trust opening a door and expanding a comfort zone.
  • It’s about the power of honest attraction over force and manipulation…
  • And because any one of us can replace a limiting thought with one that’s more useful.

Perhaps it’s an approach we can apply to other sources of fear.  Do you have any “dogs” that need shrinking?

FACE FEAR: “Mom, these are not BIG dogs because I’m not afraid of them.”…
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Honey, I Shrunk the Dogs

Jul 202010
 

Just before we got together, a visiting friend reminded me that her small daughter was afraid of big dogs.

My family includes a fairly intense German Shepherd Dog and a goofy Lab. Neither is ‘small.’ I assured my friend that they would be kenneled for the afternoon and would not need to interact with her family.

We had met elsewhere to do some ‘stay-cation’ things nearby, so I got to chat with the little one before we drove to the house. I let her know that the dogs would bark when we got arrived and that they couldn’t get near her. I asked her to help with their training by ignoring them.

Upon arrival, the dogs stopped barking almost instantly. It took about seven minutes of picking blueberries and looking at flowers before my 5-year-old guest became completely attracted to the dogs and the kennel.

Although the adults got to visit a little bit, most of the next two hours were spent talking about ‘dog language,’ how it is different from ‘people language’ and that kids can be safe around dogs.

Soon the little one asked me to bring them in the house.

They came in, wearing training collars and leashes to help them pay attention. They sat quietly beside me. The grown-ups talked about how much dogs rely on their noses to learn, that jumping back encourages them to chase and that calm behavior brings a calm response.

She asked to see them do tricks. In order for that to happen the ‘non-performing dog’ had to sit quietly beside the formerly frightened little girl. That was fine with her.

The high point of my day was when she turned to her mother and said, “Mom, these aren’t BIG dogs because I’m not afraid of them. I like them. These are MEDIUM dogs.”

Why do I think that’s so cool? It speaks to the power of support, data and exposure to overcome prejudice and fear. It’s an example of trust and courage opening a door and expanding a comfort zone. The power of honest attraction over force and manipulation… of replacing a limiting thought with one that’s more useful.

And, when my husband called in from a business trip and asked about my day I got to tell him that I shrunk the dogs!