What Good Are Youth Sports?

Sep 202011
 
Child, Youth and School Services bring back ta...

Image by familymwr via Flickr

Are organized youth sports good for kids?

I’m struck by the contrast between  a culture that seems to value athletic success above all other types vs.  the epidemic  levels of obesity.  While both parents and kids can be easily  ‘swept away’ by dreams of big pro contracts I find myself wondering what impact this thinking might have on less-gifted athletes?

Are we inadvertently telling the athletes without “star quality” that they should just graba pizza and a a soda and take a seat on the sidelines?

Despite our sometimes skewed focus, I still believe the rewards of youth sports can certainly outweigh the risks — as long as the adults play nicely.

What are some of the benefits?

First, and probably far too obvious, is the fact that team sports can be a lot of fun. And with the right coaching kids can practice the teamwork, cooperation and mutual-support skills they need in… pretty much everywhere.

Then there’s all the discipline: not just showing up for practice on time but voluntarily accepting the leadership and authority of a team… and a league.

They’re part of something bigger than themselves and learn to face challenges together… to place team goals ahead of personal glory.

And when things don’t go their way?  You can have some super discussions about values, fairness and respect.  When they get benched (I hope) for some of the same behaviors they see by the professional athletes they admire so much?  Talk about the “hows” and “whys” of picking people to look up to… and maybe about the example they are setting for younger kids.

And, whether you and your kids agree or disagree with the coach, you can have some super discussion about values, respect and, of course, both the positive and negative role modeling by professional athletes.  (And kids’ opportunities to set examples for those younger than they are.)

Hmmm…  an opportunity to make regular exercise a part of their lives…. learning to get along with others…  and cool uniforms.

What are your thoughts on the pros and cons of involving kids in organized sports?

You Don’t Know How? Cool!

Sep 132011
 

Swim Class

How are passions discovered?

Although we seem to  “specialize” earlier and earlier I wonder about that approach.  Does it allow children the time  and freedom needed to discover all of their strengths and interests?

In a recent conversation with a college “almost first-year,” a young friend talked about the need to pursue a career in social work or criminal justice.  People in those professions had been a vital part of her growing-up years and, she said, up until that conversation, becoming one of them was the only way she knew to “make a difference.”

At the time, we were spending time with people who had “made a difference” in other ways; she was open to the idea that people can make more of a difference with “who they are” than with “what they do.”  I was delighted to hear that she was receptive to the idea that “trying lots of things” was a reasonable goal for the college-bound.

So many people shy away from “new” because it’s not comfortable; but what about the lucky ones who learn early on that a certain level of discomfort is the price of admission to a new adventure?  If we don’t encourage our kids to sample a variety  of what comes their way  –from science fairs to swim lessons– how will they discover hidden talents and passions? Parents who value ‘effort’ and ‘risk’ and celebrate ‘trying,’ ‘giving their best effort’ and ‘being open to opportunity’ seem to have kids who try, give their best effort and are open to opportunity!

Whether our kids shine with natural talent for or struggle to master basic skills, we have a chance teach them something special.  Our approach can gift them with the opportunity to show the same respect for everyone who is willing to set aside discomfort, to push themselves toward improvement and give to their best. As with so many aspects of being a parent, it’s attitude.

Excellence matters, but it takes most of us years to find our strengths.  As parents, do we offer enough space in our children’s lives to balance enjoyment of the familiar with exploration of the new?

Confessions of A Crappy “Expert”

Aug 172011
 
Family Portrait - Montreal 1963

Image by Mikey G Ottawa via Flickr

I started my morning while it was still very dark outside.  In the peace of my office, as I waded through blog links and tweets and e-mails and FB posts I grew discouraged.  Very discouraged.  And perhaps it is that emotion that has led me to conclude:  I am a crappy expert.

More than 30 years as a parent, over 25 as an advocate for families, participation in multiple program start-ups and outcome reports and … I just don’t have it.

How did I arrive at this conclusion?

Despite my pedigree I cannot — or will not — presume to tell you the one, single best way to be a parent.  I have written about a way of looking at family life that I think can help almost any parent feel supported.  Especially when they’re ‘setting’.  (Setting?  A powerful example.  Appropriate limits.  The dinner table…)

I do not know, nor have I ever claimed to know, “The Key” to being a better Mom or Dad.  I think that providing a framework or point of view from which parents can choose what works best in their family is far more respectful.  It’s not a good marketing strategy but it’s honest.

I don’t give guarantees about how your kids will turn out. C’mon… do I LOOK like I have a crystal ball?

So what qualifies me to write for parents?

Whether they are families in distress or my girlfriends and neighbors, I have a lot of experience talking to parents about their universally favorite topic: their kids. From that experience I have come to believe that every parent is doing the best they can with what they’ve got.  And that one of the best gifts any of us can give the current generation of kids is to celebrate, appreciate and lift their parents.

I am acutely aware of cultural forces that make it difficult for parents to be as involved as they would like to be.  In my opinion, far too many organizations and individuals try to tap into parental guilt as a marketing tool.  FOUL!  Flag on the play.  I respect parents enough to believe that, with a little support and a slight shift in focus, they’ll be able to raise their game.

And if any of that makes me a crappy expert here I stand — guilty as charged!

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