When Kids Are Not Olympians

Jul 252012
 

Boston Bruins championship banner being raised

No matter how much inspiration I drew from Nancy Greene and Barbara Cochran and no matter how hard I was willing to work, the closest I’ll ever  get to becoming an Olympic skier is that I was named for one.  I love the sport but am simply not talented or brave enough to compete in that arena.

And I’m not alone. Though wildly successful in other areas, my Dad never got to pitch in a World Series and my adult son may be approaching the day he stops waiting for the Boston Bruins to call him for his Stanley Cup appearance.

Let’s face it: we’re not all created with identical talents.  It is NOT true that you can “do anything you want as long as you work hard enough” and I don’t think it’s fair to pass that on to our children.

Am I making excuses for my family and our athletic “failures”?  I don’t think so.  I’m just relaying facts: despite desire, love of sport, well-developed work ethics and vivid imagining we simply lack the requisite natural ability.

Yet those early sports-related passions are hardly a waste: they’ve got some great building blocks.  Olympic figure skating champ Peggy Fleming put it well when she said “I think exercise tests us in so many ways, our skills, our hearts, our ability to bounce back after setbacks.”

So your what if your little one has a passion in an area that doesn’t match aptitude or opportunity?  What of the kiddo who dreams of surfing but lives in  the mountains? The one who yearns to try rock climbing and lives where it’s flat?  What then?

What about celebrating the strengths that come from trying? The knowledge and learning that can come from being an informed fan?  A lifetime love and understanding of a sport or activity? Or small ways that they could bring some aspect of that interest to life?

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How do parents define success and what DO kids need to succeed?  Get your electronic copy of What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement  for only $1.00 by clicking this link and entering the coupon code NA64P.   Take your place in this important conversation.

 



The Best Job

Jun 272012
 

Ad for Why Be Good?

Ad for Why Be Good? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve heard parenting described as “the toughest job you’ll ever love” and “the most important job in the world.”  As younger parents we sort through the variety of ideas, experiences and practices with which we were raised keeping some and discarding others. Watching some of the wonderful new Moms and Dads in my life right now, I am impressed by the intelligence and energy they bring to parenthood.

And I wonder, if they were to describe this sacred “work” with a job description, what would it say? Here’s a “want ad” I wrote for workshop participants a while  ago.

Help Wanted:  Passionate adult to commit to vital mission.  Successful candidate will embrace the mission in 120-hour workweek with no financial compensation.  Must be committed to creating better future for children and care enough to do the hard stuff.  Preference given to those who apply as a team and are able to remember that “you’re not raising children – you’re raising future adults!”

I suppose, like any good job description, the qualities outlined would depend on the outcome an individual or couple wants for their children. And that’s related to values.  Your values.

So what, in your mind, constitutes successful parenting?  What do you want for your kids?

Of course to be safe and cared for and to know they are loved.  Of course.  But what else do you want for them? A top-notch education?  Resilience? Secure employment?  Good health?  How about a great work ethic, common sense or the ability to set goals?

And what skills, qualities and experience do you need to have in order to help that happen?

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