Why Wouldn’t We Be Happy

Aug 062010
 

by guest poster, Tom Tuohy

My friend Quincy has an infectious enthusiasm. I love the way he just puts his head back and yells, “Yeah!” He doesn’t need a reason to do it, he just does it. He is happy. He loves life. He loves people.

The Illinois Center for Rehabilitation and Education, (ICRE), is a state facility for young people with physical and or developmental challenges. Quincy, who was born with cerebral palsy, lives there.

On a recent visit, Kristen, one of our volunteers, asked Quincy why he was always so happy. Quincy thought for a minute and said, “Why wouldn’t I be happy?”

We all have the choice to be unconditionally happy. Often we forget how. More importantly we lose sight of the way of being that brings us our greatest joy – being generous.

Everyone has something to give. Life gets in the way sometimes. We are fooled into thinking we don’t have the time, we don’t have the money, we have too many responsibilities……. These things may be true but we always have a choice. It begins with saying ‘Hi’ to the guy who takes our money at the toll booth, the lady standing next to us in line, or the kid who looking at us, hoping we are the hero they dream about.

I wish everyone knew Quincy. They would know that he gets it. “Yeah,” Quincy, if we all realized how you looked at life, we could do it, too.

Every conscious act of engagement and generosity gives us great joy in return. When we DON’T make that choice we are really cheating ourselves. If we all remembered to know this, what we would choose? Why wouldn’t we choose to be happy?

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Adapted from an article by Tom Tuohy, Founder and President of Dreams for Kids. For more information on DFK, click here www.dreamsforkids.org

What Do You Expect?

Jun 252010
 

Every generation seems to think that those who follow are setting new standards for bad behaviors.  And, at the risk of sounding like an old fuddy duddy (thanks, Keyuri) I’m not sure that bullying, entitlement and self-centeredness are matters of opinion.  They’re sad facts.

Does this sound familiar?

“Children these days are tyrants.  They not only talk back to their parents, teachers and elders, but they expect every luxury, gobble their food, chatter incessantly, and sneer at any attempt to control them.”  If that sound like the ‘host rant’ of the latest talk radio show about parenting… well, it’s not.  It was Socrates — in the 5th century, B.C.  Evidently parents have been concerned that children were not eagerly accepting direction and training for some time now!

We seem to have confused discipline with punishment.  Children without the benefit of parental discipline and guidance are left to their own to figure out socially acceptable standards of behavior.  It’s a form a child abandonment.

I don’t remember ever seeing a written list of ‘rules’ when I was growing up… and I did not provide my son with that sort of list when he was growing up.  There were, however, lots of discussions about expectations and standards.  Morals and values.  There was rarely any doubt in my mind about how my parents would feel about something I was about to do — or not do.

And when I did things they didn’t agree with I paid — whether or not they found out what I had done!  The feeling that went along with doing something that would disappoint or embarrass them was punishment enough.

Of course when the DID find out about some of my transgressions, they made it perfectly clear that they did NOT believe that “that feeling” was anywhere NEAR punishment enough! Although it didn’t happen often  their version of reality included apologies, cleaning and repairs.

Expectations provide context for decisions.  When kids know their parents values their strive to uphold them.  And a good role model makes following the path even easier.

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