Do your kids worry? Do they think of themselves as people who are lucky that nothing bad has ever happened to them? Or as people who have developed skills from tough times and can be counted on to solve problems?
Since nobody is immune from life’s ups and downs, it seems that a positive attitude about overcoming adversity is a great gift to give our kids. And gratitude seems to be a good place to start. What if we could teach them to be just as grateful for set-backs as they are for the Santa-lists! With experience we can all learn that clouds have silver linings and that set-backs make us stronger.
How do parents balance our powerful protective instinct with the knowledge that we need to find ways to build “bounce back” without overwhelming the little people?
You can start almost anywhere. Have you ever been to a Pinewood Derby, science fair or similar event? Of course. Here’s the hard question: were you the parent who ‘over-helped’ or the one whose child had the ugly little car or slightly primitive, bumpy science project?
In order to learn new skills we need to stretch. The results are not always pretty but the simple act of being able to complete a task and bring it to the event brings a feeling of competence and mastery. And when your child’s project is not judged “best”? What then?
Kids who are supported for taking risks and giving their best efforts will try again. In time they can learn to compete with themselves. To look for improvement over their last best effort find creative ways to reach their goals and achieve the desired results.
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What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement by Andrea Patten and Harry S. Patten is available in Korean and Russian.
