Bully-be-gone!

Sep 152009
 

This has got to be one of my favorite back-to-school stories… and best ever bullying story.

Like all parents, I am concerned about bullying.  I am also concerned that many of the ways that we encourage kids to deal with bullying are at best ineffective – and at worst set them up for even more torment.  That is what’s so great about this story – instead of making the victim responsible for ‘fixing’ the problem the majority of the student community stood up together and said “enough.”

It seems that a young man showed up for his first day of upper school wearing a pink shirt – and was seriously harassed for his ‘offense.’

Fortunately, other students noticed, and having had “enough” decided to take action. 

Two of the students, 12th grade boys, went out and purchased 50 pink t-shirts and handed them out to friends to wear the next day.  They also e-mailed friends and classmates who turned to their own closets in order to lend support.   

On Day Two at Central Kings Rural High School in Cambridge, Nova Scotia school students and faculty alike were treated to the sight of a sea of pink… as if the majority of the student body was challenging the bullies to take them on as a whole.

 Asking kids who are being bullied to take action on their own behalf often sets them up for more torment…. despite the best of intentions ‘telling an adult’ often leads to escalated and more secretive bullying.  But when the whole community stands together and says “enough”…. Well, that’s pretty hard to ignore.

Want all the details?  Click here to read the original news story http://www.cbc.ca/canada/nova-scotia/story/2007/09/18/pink-tshirts-students.html

Max Meets the Fur Foundations

Jul 122009
 
German Shepherd Dog Eyes.

German Shepherd Dog Eyes. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Once upon a time there was a young German Shepherd Dog who lived in an apartment.   Looking back, his family probably loved him but, did not seem to understand him.  They worked all day and left him home alone.   As happens with German Shepherd pups, he grew.  A lot.  And he had a lot of energy to burn.  It was frustrating, I’m sure.  One day, he ate a couch – or dug up a neighbor’s lawn.  I don’t remember.  It doesn’t matter.

When I met Max he was living in a shelter.  He was a little reluctant to come to me – after all, so far his experiences with humans had been frustrating and confusing.  But Max was a bit of a “foodie” — the liver training-treats won him over.

If he could tell the story, I’m sure he’d tell you that I fed him cookies and we went outside to play.  In my version, I was delighted that he saw it as play.  It didn’t seem to be  a good time to tell him that I had a checklist in my pocket and was there to evaluate him for a friend who ran a training program that might get him out of ‘doggie jail’ AND give him a career as a police dog.

Max passed his initial evaluation with flying colors.  His name was changed and he entered a rigorous training program where he experienced his share of ups and downs.  Upon graduation he became K-9 Ox and a member of the Middletown (CT) PD.  During an almost nine-year career, Ox was responsible for many felony arrests.  But his real strength was with “live finds” — reuniting numerous lost, confused or distraught individuals (children, adults and seniors) with their loved ones.

Hmmm….  let’s see…. a high-achieving adult who overcame early adversity (surrendered to the shelter) through hard work and discipline…. and contributed more than expected to his community.  Sound familiar?  Sure sounds like the life story of all the successful HUMAN adults we wrote about in What Kids Need…..

Maybe we should re-name our success principles the FUR foundations????

p.s.  if you want to see this handsome guy this link will take you to his final K-9 Olympics competition  — on the day he retired, at age 10!   Atta boy, Ox.

 

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Dale Carnegie Meets Mr. Rogers????

Jun 232009
 

 Friendship can be tough – and sometimes even more difficult to navigate without the longer view that age provides.  As the parent of the smartest, nicest, coolest kid in the group — the one who should automatically be the most popular – it can be tempting to jump right in and ‘straighten things out,’ can’t it?    

Sometime during my son’s early baseball years, he apparently confided in his Grandpa.  One of the more popular players on the team was teasing him about not being as good a ball player.  (Evidently, this is not something that ‘guys’ tell their Moms!)  Gramp’s advice came straight from the pages of Dale Carnegie’s classic How to Win Friends and Influence People – not exactly at the top of everyone’s list of favorite parenting books! 

“I told him I knew of a magical solution —a solution that would turn the guy who was picking on him into his best friend.  I could tell that he wanted to hear but I refused to tell him until he promised me he would act upon my suggestion,” said Gramp.   

Apparently, after promising to take action, my son got his instructions.  At the next opportunity, he was to talk to the guy…. to tell him that he thought he was a really good baseball player and ask for help on how to improve a specific part of his game.   

According to Dad, my boy’s reaction was nothing short of ‘horrified.’  He tried to get out of doing it only to be quickly reminded of the promise he had just made.  

Dad stops short of taking credit for what happened next; he admits that he wasn’t present during the boys’ next conversation… but it was not long after that the two former rivals started spending more time together.  Eventually they became close friends.   

Speaking as someone who heard far too many Earl Nightingale motivational recordings before starting the fourth grade, I might not be the first to recommend this strategy to the average Little Leaguer.  On the other hand, I can’t argue with success.

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