20/20 Imagination

Jun 112014
 
F.A. Cup Trophy

Photo credit: Tyne & Wear Archives & Museums

 

Everything we accomplish begins in our mind’s eye.  Don’t believe me?  Look at the thousands of dollars adults spend each year on books, seminars and coaching simply to learn how to use this important tool.  How many times have you heard a speaker or seminar leader advise you to attach a “vivid, emotional picture” to your goals in order to speed up the process?  It’s pretty common — and common sense — advice.

Visualize.  Picture.  Imagine.  Pretend.  Fake it ’til you make it.

What do these things have in common?  They come pretty naturally to kids.  I wonder what would happen if we took steps to reinforce  those abilities  in childhood   — while it’s still easy and natural?  And why do we want to preserve constructive imagination in our kids?

When did you first hear that old favorite W. Clement Stone quote, ‘What the mind can conceive it and believe it can achieve’?  As adults we learn that being able to picture the end result is an important step in creating motivation to act on our ‘wants.’  We picture ourselves fitting easily and effortlessly into a favorite outfit or skinny jeans to keep our feet moving on the way to the gym.  As kids we lie in bed and ‘watch the movie’ of the game-winning catch or being at the center of the big awards ceremony…. over and over and over.

Practicing “imagination plus emotion” also helps build emotional intelligence and strengthen empathy.  That’s pretty easy to practice with your kids.  After all, as you move through the day together you encounter dozens of situations that allow you to ask “how do you think that person is feeling right now?”  This can lead to some great conversations about news stories, neighborhood relations, manners, sports score…  It’s a way to take almost any conversation with your kids beyond the “headline level.”

Besides, the best way to learn something is to teach it.  Practicing visualization skills with your kids could save you a lot of time at seminars and move you closer to your personal goals.

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Having trouble keeping that inner voice positive?  Watch this space for a new book about taming your Inner Critic!

On Enthusiasm

Apr 302014
 

 

"enthusiasm"

“enthusiasm” (Photo credit: TheAlieness GiselaGiardino²³)

 

“There is a real magic in enthusiasm.  It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale  

 

Have you ever noticed that enthusiastic people seem to enjoy life more than those who h0ld back?  It’s as if this trait makes colors brighter and experiences richer.  Maybe it really is the difference between mediocrity and excellence.

I suppose that makes sense; an early definition includes the phrase “having a god within.” Other definitions include words and phrases such as “a lively interest” or describes something that “absorbs or possesses the mind.”

Enthusiasm and passion seem to be natural in young children: running, jumping, yelling, laughing. In time that can change.  As we learn about “grown up behavior” we may skip a little less and sing a bit more quietly.  And when was the last time you didn’t want to fall asleep because you just didn’t want the day to end?

So if we learn to do a bit less running and jumping… and a good time doesn’t always result in grass-stains in the laundry, what does enthusiasm look like in grown-ups?  It may be quieter, but it may resemble habitual gratitude and chronic appreciation. Applause at the end of a performance?  Social media “likes” and “+”s?

How do you share enthusiasm with those around you?

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Competition, Excellence and Ivies

Apr 232014
 
Kindergarten Graduation Ceremony 2011

Kindergarten Graduation Ceremony 2011 (Photo credit: SFA Union City)

Have you seen this article about some who was suing their $19,000-a-year pre-school for damaging her child’s chance to get into an Ivy League college?

Whether I agree with spending $19,000 a year on pre-school (I don’t) or that graduating from one of the Ivies is a passport to Nirvana (ditto) is irrelevant.   We all want our children to excel. And since it takes most kids years to find their strengths, I don’t understand how  a few steps off the pre-determined path can be perceived as so harmful.

I’m a big fan of little guys trying everything that comes their way –from soccer to poetry.  Art, music, sports, languages…. if we don’t introduce them to ideas and experiences outside of our every day norms how will they figure out what they are passionate about?

And how do we find that fine between being supportive of our kids’ experiences without taking over?  Without making it “about” Mom or Dad?  I think it’s already hard enough for a kid to try something and fail without the added pressure of feeling they’ve disappointed a parent or two.

After all, while competition is a great teacher, there are many times that it is  important to reward participation and the courage it takes to try something new.  It’s easy to forget that losing is nature’s best teacher.  Time and again, high-achieving adults confirm adversity and struggle as the “teachers” that pushed them to win the next time!

Kids shouldn’t be afraid of losing.  Go easy on the sympathy if they lose.  Soft-pedal the congratulations if they win. In either case, ask them what they learned or what they’ll try next time.

 

 

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