Do You Know the Score… About Losing?

 

Job applications, raises, publication and promotions…. Sometimes adult life can feel like a non-stop competitive event.  And while we may not enjoy the feeling, should we prepare our kids for it?  Should we deny that the ability to compete is a skill they’re going to need later in life?  Or should we shield them from it for as long as possible?

We’ve all seen unhealthy competition work its way into parent-child relationships:

• fanatic sports parents who argue with officials or condone cheating,
• those who are so focused on performance they call their child names
• kids who are so over-trained they don’t get to enjoy unstructured time with teammates
• parents who can’t hide disappointment when a child brings home a second or third place ribbon

Even parents who don’t make headlines can make competition a miserable, ego-damaging experience.

But even in childhood, kids compete:  for attention, for grades or a place on a team.  Some win and some lose.  Competition can teach kids to  strive for excellence,  develop a strong work ethic and really help them recognize the relationship between effort and outcome.

It’s unfortunate that sometimes “losing” translates to “unworthy.”  Many high achievers tell us it was their biggest losses that taught them the most about winning.  In addition, losing does not equal parental failure and we shouldn’t fear it.

Let’s help our kids keep the focus on showing up, giving our best… and having fun… no matter what the scoreboard says!