Competition, Excellence and Ivies

Apr 232014
 
Kindergarten Graduation Ceremony 2011

Kindergarten Graduation Ceremony 2011 (Photo credit: SFA Union City)

Have you seen this article about some who was suing their $19,000-a-year pre-school for damaging her child’s chance to get into an Ivy League college?

Whether I agree with spending $19,000 a year on pre-school (I don’t) or that graduating from one of the Ivies is a passport to Nirvana (ditto) is irrelevant.   We all want our children to excel. And since it takes most kids years to find their strengths, I don’t understand how  a few steps off the pre-determined path can be perceived as so harmful.

I’m a big fan of little guys trying everything that comes their way –from soccer to poetry.  Art, music, sports, languages…. if we don’t introduce them to ideas and experiences outside of our every day norms how will they figure out what they are passionate about?

And how do we find that fine between being supportive of our kids’ experiences without taking over?  Without making it “about” Mom or Dad?  I think it’s already hard enough for a kid to try something and fail without the added pressure of feeling they’ve disappointed a parent or two.

After all, while competition is a great teacher, there are many times that it is  important to reward participation and the courage it takes to try something new.  It’s easy to forget that losing is nature’s best teacher.  Time and again, high-achieving adults confirm adversity and struggle as the “teachers” that pushed them to win the next time!

Kids shouldn’t be afraid of losing.  Go easy on the sympathy if they lose.  Soft-pedal the congratulations if they win. In either case, ask them what they learned or what they’ll try next time.

 

 

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Enthusiasm Plus Persistence Equals….

Apr 162014
 
jump

jump (Photo credit: Ozh)

 

Enthusiasm and passion are visible expressions of a positive attitude and, when we are lucky, we can see it in our kids.

They wake up early in the morning, bursting with energy and ready to go.  We are amazed that their enthusiasm and intensity seem to gain momentum, getting stronger as the day goes on.  Sometimes it even extends through bedtime: there are still so many great things left to do they don’t want to miss a single one of them.

It’s not always easy to sort through the noise and energy to continue to encourage this important trait.  But it may help to remember what Dale Carnegie told us so many years ago: “Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success.”

So… take a deep breathe and join in.  Revisit your own inner child. See who can laugh the loudest or run the fastest.  Get down on the floor and build things with the little ones.  When the bigger kids are excited about a new artist, ask if you can hear a little.  And celebrate.

When chores are done….let’s have a family celebration!  When marks  improve, let’s have a celebration!  When goals are reached…. well, you get the idea.  After all, the more we celebrate the more we have to celebrate, right?

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A Powerful Voice

Apr 152014
 
English: James Earl Jones in 2010.

James Earl Jones in 2010. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Abandoned by his father before he was born, James Earl Jones lived with his mother and grandparents.  His mother who worked as a tailor in neighboring towns.  At age six, James began to stutter and, by the third grade, could communicate only through writing.  He later  joined debating teams to help him overcome his speech impediment and went on to develop one of the  most recognizable voices of stage or screen.

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 In What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement you’ll read true stories about high-achieving adults and the lessons they learned in childhood.

 

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