May 272013
 

English: A colorful depiction of Maslow's Hier...

 

Maybe I’m too grumpy to write this right now but most of you have been with me for a long time.  I trust you’ll forgive me should that become necessary.  And if not?  I wish you well.  I mean no offense.

Ready?

I’m sick of self esteem.  I’m tired of talking about it. Hearing about it. Worrying about it. Building it. Protecting it.  Blah, blah, blah.

How can a woman who has been an advocate for kids and families for decades make such an inflammatory statement?

That’s simple: I think our collective obsession with self esteem may actually be hurting kids.  It’s a term that gets thrown about as a well-meaning but lazy mental shortcut.  Self-esteem has become the holy grail of modern parenting.

On the other hand, when I’m not frustrated and ranting, I’m able to hear those statements for what they are: love, concern and a laudable desire to protect.

Here’s the fundamental problem: we can’t give self-esteem to anyone.  It’s an inside job.

As parents, teachers and coaches the best we can hope for is to create conditions that allow our kids to have the experiences they need to discover and embrace their own innate beauty and worth.  Try, fail, try again, succeed.  Hug, kiss.  Praise, scold.  Love the hell out of ’em. Trust the process.  Rinse, lather, repeat.

May 032013
 

Gotta admire the little guy’s persistence.  He’s got that ‘refuse to lose’ thing down!

Here’s to finding lots of tigers to play with this weekend.  😉

 

 

 May 3, 2013  Posted by at 6:57 am Friday Fun Comments Off on Tiger, Tiger…
May 012013
 

 

English:

English: (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Growing up black, female, fatherless and in dire poverty [in the Old South], young Sherian Cadoria was told that she was less than others.  But her mother, her older siblings and the nuns who facilitated her education made her believe she was strong, smart, capable and that she absolutely owed the world the gift of her many talents.  Their teachings, encouragement and challenges enabled the young girl to grow into someone who was able to thrive at the highest level.

Eventually Sherian Grace Cadoria became the first female African American general in the history of the U.S. Army.  When she retired after 29 years of service she left behind a legacy full of firsts:

  • the first woman to command an all-male battalion in Viet Nam
  • the first to lead a criminal investigation brigade
  • the first black woman director of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
  • the first woman admitted to the Command and General Staff College and the US Army War College

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from What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement by Andrea Patten & Harry S. Patten, now available in hardcover and in e-book format.