Failure or Future: It’s up to You (Re-play)

Feb 042015
 

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We all want to comfort our children after they suffer any kind of failure or disappointment. It’s only natural.

Instead, they ask a simple question: “What happened?”

The question is asked kindly and respectfully, but the intention is clear: to help the child understand why she didn’t reach her goal. Where did she go wrong? Was she unprepared? Did she not work hard enough? Or is her talent simply in another area?

The best parents I’ve met have resisted the urge to “make it all better.”
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This kind of questioning may seem rather sophisticated for a young child, but will teach an important lesson: failure can be viewed as a springboard to improvement, not as a dead-end or a reason for self-pity.

Would most parents like to provide a disappointment-free life for their kids?
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Would most parents like to provide a disappointment-free life for their kids? Probably. But stop and think for a moment: Is that realistic? Do you know anyone who has not had to confront disappointment or failure? Given that reality, dont we do our kids a greater kindness when we support them in learning from disappointment than when we try to shield them from it entirely?

Parents who react to their children’s failures in this manner provide skills that will last a lifetime. In other words, they raise people who are able to recognize their own competence — and never give up!

The Benefits of Budgeting

Jul 302014
 
English: Shopping carts in ABC Tikkula.

English: Shopping carts in ABC Tikkula. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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When it is difficult to make ends meet there is a particular parental struggle that doesn’t need to exist:  it is not necessary to feel guilty about setting limits on previously over-indulged children.  In fact, even if you haven’t established a precedent of over-indulgence, there’s no need to feel guilty about setting economic limits.  Like any tough situation, this one holds potential for some valuable learning:  there can be long-term benefits to changing a child’s short-term economic expectations.

Of course it can be difficult to say “no” to someone we love – and all parents want to be able to give their kids the best of everything.  But how do we define “the best”?  Can it be in the skills that we introduce and allow them to practice?  How about the benefits of budgeting?

Here are a few:

  • Setting priorities:  What is it they want the most?
  • Money management:  What is the relationship between saving and spending?
  • Planning: What will it take to get it?  What resources to they already have?  Which ones will they need to develop or find?
  • Self-determination: Are they willing to work for it?
  • Research:  Is there a way to get a better price on “the thing”?  Is it ever on sale?  Can it be found second hand?
  • Problem-solving: If they’ve not saved enough money how will they earn more?  Odd jobs?  Yard sale?

Giving your children a chance to learn the benefits of budgeting is a gift that will last far longer than… well… just about anything on their list!

 

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Make A List!

Feb 022013
 

by Esther Jantzen, guest poster

We all usually feel calmer, happier, and more energetic when we write down things we need to remember. It helps un-clutter our minds and it creates “brain-space” for new ideas. Children benefit greatly from the simple act of making a list. It’s an organizational trick they can apply to their schoolwork and their lives. It teaches them to take personal responsibility and be prepared. And it’s fun to brainstorm lists together as one person writes down the ideas that others give! Here are tips for doing this:

1) You or your children can handwrite lists or keep them on a computer. Some lists are reusable (like what to pack for an overnight visit). Others change each week.

2) Think about what kinds of lists would make your lives easier. Start them now, add to them as you think of new items, and let your children see you using them! Here are some suggestions:

  • Gift ideas
  • School projects
  • Household chores
  • Things that need to be done for the day, the week, or the weekend
  • What to pack for a trip or overnight slumber party
  • Favorite family meals (for when you can’t think of what to make for supper)
  • Birthdays of family members and friends
  • Lunchbox food ideas, a picnic supplies list, or a grocery-store list
  • People to call in emergencies
  • Things you want to do in the summer or on vacation
  • Books, CDs, DVDs, video games, movies you borrowed or loaned
  • Stores that carry things you need
  • Things needed for a birthday or holiday celebration

3) Kids may want to create their own lists of things like friends’ names, addresses, and phone numbers; toys or games they like; things they want to do or make, and so on.

4) We recommend you put family lists in a central place.

Make a List! supports the English-Language Arts Content Standards related to writing strategies, organization, and focus.

Esther Jantzen, Ed.D, is a mother, an educator and the author of Plus It! How to Easily Turn Everyday Activities into Learning Adventures for Kids available at www.plusitbook.com and the Way to Go! Family Learning Journal available through www.jantzenbooks.com

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