Apr 162012
 

Lots of kids dream about becoming pro athletes, movie stars, famous musicians, prima ballerinas and presidents.  I don’t know about you but the last time I looked at a group of gown-ups, I saw a lot more teachers than TV stars…. more software engineers than soloists.

What becomes of childhood dreams?  Do our kids stop dreaming? Or do they stop telling us?

Sometimes our efforts to shield those we love from disappointment backfire.   We mean well:  we want them to feel safe and secure.  We want them to avoid the mistakes we have made.  Sometimes we put the brakes on their imagination and creativity.

Kermit the frog in the Hollywood walk of fame,...

Image via Wikipedia

So how do we make sure that our kids will be prepared to earn a living without stepping on their big dreams?  How do we keep our feet on the ground AND dream along with them?

Asking open-ended questions and brainstorming about to achieve goals and dreams goes far beyond the dreaded “What do you want to be when you grow up” question.

1)    Ask questions that encourage imagination.  “What do you think it’s like to work on a movie set?”

2)    Ask questions that reinforce ideas.  “How long do you think it took <name of actor they admire> to land such a big role?” or “What courses do you think she took to get so good at this?” and  “I wonder what other jobs he had along the way?”

3)    Ask questions that help them make plans.  “If acting is what you really want to do what do you think  you might need to do to prepare?  Are there things we can practice now?”

4)    Ask questions that help them broaden their thinking.  “It seems like the part of being an actor is the ______.  Does that happen in other industries?”

Dreams may provide yet another way to improve communication and to strengthen your connection.   And that can be a dream come true for any family.

Apr 112012
 
Farmers Market

Image by tamaradulva via Flickr

Last year was not what I would call “a good garden year.”  I failed to keep up with the cucumber bugs and they did a number on about a quarter of the garden.  The good news?

  • I visited a lot of local farmers’ markets
  • I discovered a new produce market
  • I learned a lot

On a trip to the produce market, I watched an “employee” stand on his tiptoes to dump crushed ice on to one of the displays.  At the same time, his “employer” let him know that when he was finished with that task there was a label gun with his name on it.

Across the aisle, one of the managers said, “It’s hard for him.”

The employer responded, “I know.  That’s OK.  It’s good for him. He’ll figure it out.”

By now you’ve probably guessed that this is a family-run business and that the “employer”  and “manager”  are parents.  The  “employee” in question is their ten-year-old.  Naturally, I couldn’t resist complimenting them on letting their child participate in the family business.  The Mom (who had cautioned about the difficulties of icing displays) was happy to chat.  She was quick to let me know that her son preferred to come work with them than be with a sitter or  play with friends.  She and her husband we excited that their son was learning some of the skills and attitudes that had helped them build a successful business.

We all work hard to give our kids “the best”  and long hours can sometimes leave them wondering why we are gone so much of the time… sometimes even wondering if we like being at work more than we like being with them.  At the other end of the spectrum are parents who work from home but too often use their children as an excuse to not work the business like a business and then complain that others don’t take  them seriously.

What does your relationship with work look like from your child’s point of view?  What do they actually know about what you do?  And, is there a way they can get to know that part of your life?

Apr 022012
 
Eagle Meet and Greet, National Great Rivers Museum

(Eagle Meet and Greet, National Great Rivers Museum Photo credit: TeamSaintLouis)