electrical banana (Photo credit: the past tends to disappear)
As parents we teach our kids a lot about fear. We spend time and energy teaching them exactly what to be afraid of: an electrical outlet, the mean dog in the neighborhood, a hot stove and the deep end of a pool. Teaching our children to stay safe is an important part of a parent’s ‘job description.’
The way that we teach about those things can be just as important as the information we’re trying to convey. Where is your focus? Is your message “The world is a scary, dangerous place” or “I want you to have the information you need to make safe and responsible choices.” There’s a big difference, no?
In addition to the things that we consciously try to teach, even the smallest of children pick up non-verbal cues from the adults around them. Whether or not they have the words to tell us about it they notice the things that frighten the big people.
A fear that children sometimes pick up from their parents is the fear of failure. Whether parental perfectionism shows up in action or the re-living and re-hashing of our missteps, simple observation may teach kids may that failure is to be avoided at all costs. Left unchecked, this fear can grow, perhaps resulting in another grown-up person who is afraid to take risks.
We’re certainly not advocating unsafe behavior or risk for its own sake. Balance is important. When you talk to your kids about danger, do you ever talk about the steps that a person would take to be safe in that situation? (Bonus points if you let them talk first!) It’s a great opportunity to talk about assuming responsibility and what’s appropriate at various ages.
Remember, amazing things can happen when people are not afraid to ask ‘What if?” or “What’s the worst thing that can happen if I try?”
