Andrea Patten

Once Upon a Skill Set

May 262014
 

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If we want a concept or a skill to become easy and natural for our kids, the manner in which we introduce it matters.  And, since it seems that children believe what we do much, much more than what we say we may be well advised to look for ways to improve our own skills and connect with our offspring at the same time.

Do you want to emphasize the importance of lifelong learning?  Lots of families do homework at the same big table: parents catching up on business reading while kids work on math and social studies projects.   “Regular exercise” gets more than lip service in a family ‘walk and talk‘ after dinner.

Every day of our adult lives we make countless small but important decisions about what we eat and what we spend, yet few adults remember any formal learning in those important areas.  You might want to become more conscious about sharing that process with your kids.  What would it be like to get your brood involved with meal planning and grocery shopping?  Maybe you can harness their tech skills and send the kids surfing for coupons or recipes.

It’s impossible to overestimate the impact of childhood lessons (and especially the power of parental example) have later in life.  Improving skills while having fun?  That’s a “win” in anybody’s book.

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Once Upon a Skill Set
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 May 26, 2014  Comments Off on Once Upon a Skill Set

“Mom, I Want to Quit the Team”

May 202014
 
Bounce

Bounce (Photo credit: JanetR3)

 

“Mom, LOOK!” shrieks the bouncing fourth-grader, waving a flier under your nose.  “It’s time to sign up for _________.” (circus camp, music lessons, archery)

A parental ‘deer in the deadlights moment,’ for sure.  How do you balance an already over-packed schedule, a child’s enthusiasm and time at home? After all, until we get used to it, any new activity takes up a lot of space.

Children think about new uniforms and teammates. Parents wonder about sign-ups, physicals, practice schedules, transportation, equipment, fund-raising, banquets and whatever else will be asked.  And, while most of us would like our kids to have a wide range of experiences, it’s not always possible to enroll them in everything that appeals to them.

What happens when you do give in to a child’s begging only to discover that he doesn’t like it as much as he thought he would?  Or, that she doesn’t really have a knack for it? And, now that you’ve got the ‘support structure’ in place, they want to quit the team? What’s a parent to do when they find that a child is floundering in a new activity?

It’s can be a tough call.  Before they leave a troublesome or difficult activity behind, is there something that they can learn that will help them to do better the next time?  Is there potential benefit in participating without being a ‘star’?

Sometimes the real trophy is the character-building that comes with warming a bench and leading the cheers.  The opportunity to learn to maintain a positive attitude when they’re rather be doing something else may be well-worth all the carpools, extra laundry and snack schedules combined.

 

 

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Protection or Problems?

May 142014
 
Hatched Egg

Hatched Egg (Photo credit: Mathew Knott) http://www.flickr.com/photos/93702253@N00/4652136186

 

Our children are now protected from papers marked with red pens,  other people’s food,  germs on the counter,  dirt at the playground and a whole lot of other things I just can’t think of at the moment.  While I appreciate the evolution of laws about seat belts and smoking I have to wonder whether we have distorted parental love and concern into something that is just not helpful to our children.  The desire to protect our children is normal and natural.  I just wonder if it has gone too far…. if perhaps we are creating more problems than we avoid.

If you don’t believe in the value of the struggle, then just ask your mother…. Mother Nature, that is!

Think about it:  little birds and chickens working hard to break out of their shells, salmon struggling upstream to spawn and helpless baby turtles inching toward the surf…Nature clearly favors those who struggle and adapt. Is that true of the rest of us?

 

 

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