Andrea Patten

3 Steps to Better Caregiver Communication

May 072014
 
May is Child Care Month – celebrate a child-ca...

May is Child Care Month – celebrate a child-care provider! (Photo credit: BC Gov Photos)

 

Not long ago I was  talking with a new mom who is heading back to work a few hours each week.  She’s an awesome mother and has been struggling with how to do “this  parenting thing just right.”  She shared that she had found the right day care provider but was still worried.  “What if she doesn’t want to do things the way I want them done?”

No matter how wonderful your child care provider may be, there will be times you don’t understand one another 100%.  Even if you’ve managed to hire Mary Poppins, you may, at times, disagree or not understand the other’s choices.

So how can you be certain that and your child’s other care providers remain more compatible than not?

Ask.

When it comes to our little ones, sometimes everything we know about calm, assertive communication goes right out the window.   Work-life balance can bring out the “tired-guilty-I-want-to-be-two-places-at-once-monster” in the best of us!

Whether your childcare provider is a family member, a friend or manages a licensed day care facility you’ll have plenty of opportunities to work on your communication skills.

Here are three tips that may make it easier for you:

  • Start with a positive.  Choose something you like about the relationship, the care your child gets or any of the communications that seem 100% clear.
  • Explain your concern simply and directly.  “It’s really important that we keep nap time consistent, yet when I got home the other day she slept almost an hour longer than usual.”
  • Ask for an explanation:  “If something happened and she went down later than usual I need to know that.  It helps me know if she is going through something that requires more sleep.”
Not sure what you’re supposed to ask about?  Many states provide a child care consumer information web sites or  phone lines. Here are sites from Vermont , Florida and Arkansas for example.
Like so many things, once you know what you want and have all  information you need, making  compromises and adjustments can get a little easier.

On Enthusiasm

Apr 302014
 

 

"enthusiasm"

“enthusiasm” (Photo credit: TheAlieness GiselaGiardino²³)

 

“There is a real magic in enthusiasm.  It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale  

 

Have you ever noticed that enthusiastic people seem to enjoy life more than those who h0ld back?  It’s as if this trait makes colors brighter and experiences richer.  Maybe it really is the difference between mediocrity and excellence.

I suppose that makes sense; an early definition includes the phrase “having a god within.” Other definitions include words and phrases such as “a lively interest” or describes something that “absorbs or possesses the mind.”

Enthusiasm and passion seem to be natural in young children: running, jumping, yelling, laughing. In time that can change.  As we learn about “grown up behavior” we may skip a little less and sing a bit more quietly.  And when was the last time you didn’t want to fall asleep because you just didn’t want the day to end?

So if we learn to do a bit less running and jumping… and a good time doesn’t always result in grass-stains in the laundry, what does enthusiasm look like in grown-ups?  It may be quieter, but it may resemble habitual gratitude and chronic appreciation. Applause at the end of a performance?  Social media “likes” and “+”s?

How do you share enthusiasm with those around you?

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Competition, Excellence and Ivies

Apr 232014
 
Kindergarten Graduation Ceremony 2011

Kindergarten Graduation Ceremony 2011 (Photo credit: SFA Union City)

Have you seen this article about some who was suing their $19,000-a-year pre-school for damaging her child’s chance to get into an Ivy League college?

Whether I agree with spending $19,000 a year on pre-school (I don’t) or that graduating from one of the Ivies is a passport to Nirvana (ditto) is irrelevant.   We all want our children to excel. And since it takes most kids years to find their strengths, I don’t understand how  a few steps off the pre-determined path can be perceived as so harmful.

I’m a big fan of little guys trying everything that comes their way –from soccer to poetry.  Art, music, sports, languages…. if we don’t introduce them to ideas and experiences outside of our every day norms how will they figure out what they are passionate about?

And how do we find that fine between being supportive of our kids’ experiences without taking over?  Without making it “about” Mom or Dad?  I think it’s already hard enough for a kid to try something and fail without the added pressure of feeling they’ve disappointed a parent or two.

After all, while competition is a great teacher, there are many times that it is  important to reward participation and the courage it takes to try something new.  It’s easy to forget that losing is nature’s best teacher.  Time and again, high-achieving adults confirm adversity and struggle as the “teachers” that pushed them to win the next time!

Kids shouldn’t be afraid of losing.  Go easy on the sympathy if they lose.  Soft-pedal the congratulations if they win. In either case, ask them what they learned or what they’ll try next time.

 

 

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