Andrea Patten

november post great american smokeout

Nov 012013
 
ashtray outmodel

(ashtray outmodel Photo credit: zachstern)

 

Did you take part in the  Great American Smokeout last November 17th?  How did you do?  Getting ready to give it another go in the New Year?  Good for you.

Although I rarely even think about it any more I spent years making a plan and quitting cigarettes on that special day in November… and again as a New Year’s resolution.  I can’t honestly tell you what “clicked” and enabled me to stop but I’m grateful.

Tobacco use is responsible for about one in five US deaths each year yet more than 45 million of us still smoke cigarettes.  The good news, according to The American Cancer Society, is more than half of these smokers have tried to quit for at least one day in the past year. As with any important life change both “wanting to” and “making attempts” are important steps!

Quitting is hard, but, as with any new behavior,  you can increase your chances of success with help.

 

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  •  November 1, 2013
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  •   Parenting

Grades to Reflect Reality?

Sep 012013
 

 

 

 

Learning by Doing

Photo credit: BrianCSmith

 

I’ve been thinking about a mother who told me that her parents did “not approve of” her approach to her elementary school-aged son’s “less than stellar” grades. As the conversation unfolded I remember she shared a number of important thoughts.  She was proud of her child.  According to Mom, the young “offender” was:

– kind and compassionate
– a bundle of energy
– very curious and interested in learning
– socially motivated, with great people skills to match
– fairly disinterested in grades

While the “prevailing wisdom” — both from her in-laws and several elementary school teachers — was that this “live wire” should be grounded from sports, outdoor breaks and extra-curricular activities until his marks improved, this Mom disagreed.

“I know people think that I’m  far too easy on him, that he’s lazy, and that I’m making excuses that enable poor school performance.  I just can’t figure out how to turn teachers’ comments into a currency that’s meaningful for him.  And, I still think, if you’re trying to raise a life-long-learner, education needs to be its own reward. Am I wrong?”

Perspective is an interesting thing.  Is this kiddo reflecting his Mom’s values?  Clearly she did not consider test scores or grades the holy grail of learning.  She worried that turning the whole grade “thing” into a battle of wills would have a detrimental effect on her child’s considerable curiosity and desire to learn.

“Maybe I’m wrong but I think that punishing him because he learns differently will do a lot more harm than being a ‘C’ student ever could,” she said.

In an era that sees parents challenging students’ grades on behalf of their kids this is an unusual attitude. A child appears to be performing below potential and receives grades that reflect that reality.  Isn’t that as it should be?

Or do you think  she’s being short-sighted?  Limiting her child’s future opportunities by not demanding high scores?  Or is she choosing her battles wisely and  accepting her child “as is,” regardless of the opinions of others?

 

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