The Benefits of Budgeting

Jul 302014
 
English: Shopping carts in ABC Tikkula.

English: Shopping carts in ABC Tikkula. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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When it is difficult to make ends meet there is a particular parental struggle that doesn’t need to exist:  it is not necessary to feel guilty about setting limits on previously over-indulged children.  In fact, even if you haven’t established a precedent of over-indulgence, there’s no need to feel guilty about setting economic limits.  Like any tough situation, this one holds potential for some valuable learning:  there can be long-term benefits to changing a child’s short-term economic expectations.

Of course it can be difficult to say “no” to someone we love – and all parents want to be able to give their kids the best of everything.  But how do we define “the best”?  Can it be in the skills that we introduce and allow them to practice?  How about the benefits of budgeting?

Here are a few:

  • Setting priorities:  What is it they want the most?
  • Money management:  What is the relationship between saving and spending?
  • Planning: What will it take to get it?  What resources to they already have?  Which ones will they need to develop or find?
  • Self-determination: Are they willing to work for it?
  • Research:  Is there a way to get a better price on “the thing”?  Is it ever on sale?  Can it be found second hand?
  • Problem-solving: If they’ve not saved enough money how will they earn more?  Odd jobs?  Yard sale?

Giving your children a chance to learn the benefits of budgeting is a gift that will last far longer than… well… just about anything on their list!

 

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Define Success for YOUR Kids?

Jul 162014
 
David Ortiz, mid warm up, turns back to the crowd.

David Ortiz, mid warm up. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

To say that I learned a lot in the course of becoming an indie author and publishing What Kids Need to Succeed would be an enormous understatement.  The lessons from a radically-changing publishing field were not unexpected.   But after more than two decades in human services, I was an experienced interviewer with an ear that had been tuned to hear what wasn’t being said; I was not prepared for early conversations that took place as the book’s structure was coming into focus.  Many of them held the edge of a challenge, asking with a sort of a chip on the shoulder, “Yeah… but how are you defining success?”

I’ll admit to not knowing how to answer.

I’ve had lots of discussions, conducted many interviews and participated in a lot of debates on the topic. I read and re-read transcripts of interviews. What I discovered was startling.  I was surprised that many people assume that wealthy people define success strictly in dollar terms or that authors do so by the number of published titles or book sales. The “lightbulb” was so obvious that I almost missed it.

There were as many definitions of success as there were people interviewed.  I “got it.”  Successful people take responsibility for their own definitions of success.  Success for Red Sox slugger David Ortiz might spell disaster for a researcher at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute… and vice versa.

Eventually I was able to complete the book in the same manner I conducted my practice with clients:  I do not define success for you.  Instead, I chose to share definitions from interview subjects, famous people and some great quotations on the topic.  My goal remains to support parents — not to take over any part of your job, including taking responsibility for the way you choose to define success either for yourself or for your child.

I don’t get to define you into (or out of) your aspirations.  Nobody gets to have that power, except you.  When we compare our insides to other people’s outsides perhaps it means we are ignoring the role that making choices plays in our lives…  but, tell me honestly, do you really care if your oncologist can hit a high fastball?

5 Lessons from Your Chore Chart

Jul 092014
 
Washing Up!

Washing Up! (Photo credit: pacovida)

When parents speak of “discipline” they often focus on meting out consequences for undesirable behaviors.  I like to think in terms of what goes in to developing discipline as a personal quality.

It need not be complex.  When parents assign simple daily chores, such setting the dinner table, they provide an opportunity for their children have certain helpful experiences. Whether setting the table, feeding the dog or folding the laundry, developing the habit of completing a regular household chore can contribute quite a bit to a child’s growth and personal development.

  •   Doing a ‘real’ job helps build self esteem by allowing a child to be a vital, contributing member of the family.  Moving from make-believe cooking to ‘the real deal’ can be a mile marker on the road to being a grown-up
  •  Children start to learn that their actions matter and experience autonomy through the successful completion of a household chore.  There’s no denying a mowed lawn or a made bed!
  •  Most household jobs require a level of focus — especially when the person doing that work does not have a great deal of experience.
  •   Contributing to the family through completing one (or more) household jobs can teach a person how to complete an assignment and what good work habits feel like.  It’s an early taste of job satisfaction.
  •  Acquiring a new skill takes work, practice and repetition.  And we get to learn that “practice makes progress.”

Who knew the chore chart could be such a powerful and  important tool  in helping to develop the habit of personal discipline?

 

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