Feb 012013
School desk

(School desk Photo credit: net_efekt)


Here’s something from my inbox.  A friend sent it.  I have not tracked down the original source… mostly because I really do not want to believe that it is true.  I haven’t been able to throw it away.  There’s part of me that’s not surprised – after all,  some Moms will do anything for their kids!

A young teen gets into enough trouble at school to earn a detention.  When Mom learns about it, she offers to serve her child’s detention as she feels that this would be less damaging to her child than it would be for the child to miss any after school activities.

OK, aside from undermining the school’s disciplinary structure, what is wrong with this picture?

I believe that this Mom has absolutely the best of intentions on behalf of her child.  Clearly, she wants her child to have a variety of enriching extra-curricular experiences.  Unfortunately, Mom may be teaching some lessons that nobody should be learning:

  • Rules do not apply to me, but….
  • If I DO get in trouble, someone else will pay the price.
  • Dessert (extra curricular) is more valuable than dinner.

No parent wants a child to suffer, but it is still hard for me to understand the rationale behind this type of decision.  The sad thing is that lots of parents don’t stop and ask which hurts more – missing some afterschool activities or failing to learn that actions have consequences?  Perhaps even worse, teaching our kids to expect that they live in an impenetrable bubble where nothing ‘bad’ or ‘sad’ will ever touch hem.  Which is more damaging?  You tell me.



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  4 Responses to “May I Leave Work Early? I Have to Stay After School”

  1. It’s like you keep saying – you’re not raising a child, you’re raising a FUTURE ADULT! Children who learn to count on special treatment and doing only what they want to do…..well, let’s just say that I don’t want them making my nursing home decisions, do you?

  2. […] parents have been taught to think about what is helpful to a child.  These have been things like serving detention for them, teaching them to be fearful or what happens when bicycles and potholes […]

  3. […] May I Leave Work Early? I Have to Stay After School […]

  4. […] have written about parents who volunteer to serve detention (so that their child doesn’t have to) and even about one who drove the get-away car (for a […]

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