Excel*er*RATE

Jan 072011
 
Clothesline & Bikes

Clothesline & Bikes (Photo credit: Professor Bop)

 

At some point, our kids need to understand that laundry does not fly from the dryer to the hanger… or that not all chicken comes as ‘fingers’ or ‘nuggets.’  We need to teach them how things work and household chores can become tools to teach.

As parents, when teaching a new skill, we first have to adjust our expectations. There’s a good chance that any beginner will miss some places when they dust or leave a little pile when they first try their hand with a broom and dust pan.  At what point do we ‘settle’ and when do we ask them to try again?  How do we help them learn and improve… even to enjoy doing a good job?

Try the STAR method. Show – teach – attempt -rate.

The first step is to SHOW them how you do the job. Let them watch you clear the table and load the dishwasher from start to finish…. where you put food scraps, whether or not you rinse, where the detergent is, how to stack the machine… everything that goes into sparkling clean dishes. Share your STANDARDS are for this particular chore.

The TEACHING step is a role reversal. Your child takes the lead but you’re available to help with TECHNIQUE if needed. Are there some things that need to be scraped before they’re rinsed? WHY don’t bowls go on the bottom rack? (Understanding why things take place helps create context.)

Once you’re both sure that your child knows what to do and how to do it, it’s time for a solo ATTEMPT. When your child is satisfied that he or she has successfully completed the work it is time for the next step.

Together, the two of you will REVIEW the finished result. If you’re concerned about getting that roll-the-eyes, “you’ve got to be kidding” look, be sure to leave the RATING in their hands.

How does that work? With lots of questions. The purpose here is not to find fault but to teach your child how to evaluate their own efforts.

  • How does it look to you?
  • Did you do your best?
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how good does this result look to you?
  • What would it take to move it from a 7 to an 8?

Don’t pepper them with questions… just encourage them to take an objective look at what they did.   Let THEM feel the satisfaction that comes from a job well done or develop an interest in doing better.

 

 

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Just for Fun

Jul 272010
 

On my way to an appointment the other day I heard these song lyrics:

“….I hit a big pothole… it made me lose control….” and it reminded me of a news story I wrote about a few months back.

Singer song-writer Randy Kaplan performs a sweet little song called “My LIttle Laugh” and I was able to find it on YouTube. It includes a trip to the doctor, a spill from his bike and a surprise ending!

I thought of it as a really fun way to introduce out little ones to the idea that, no matter what our circumstances, we can ALWAYS choose our response.

Enjoy!

Summer Goals?

Jun 112010
 

Some summer vacations stretch endlessly with kids sleeping late and wandering around finding interesting things to do.  Others seem to be more strictly scheduled than the school year.  What is the goal?

Goal?  For summer vacation?  Am I nuts?  Maybe.  But why wait until they are long grown to help our kids use blocks of unstructured time to explore new ideas and activities.

There’s the “phew!  I can be lazy” approach to vacation and that certainly has some value.  But teaching our kids to be life-long learners begins with letting them know that they can choose to learn about things that aren’t in anybody’s lesson plan.

Why not help them by asking what they’d like to learn about in the next few weeks; often people want to accomplish something, but they don’t know how to start or  what to do next.

Start by helping them get a good, clear picture of what it is they want to accomplish.  Are they going to build or read or write something?  Plan a trip?  Improve a skill?

They can develop that picture by making a picture or vision board or writing about it.  Different methods work for different people.  Next of course, is starting to look at the steps that they would need to take to achieve their goal and to figure out what comes first — another great discussion!

Then comes the hard part for most parents — ask about and support the effort without taking over and ‘taking it away’ from them.  If you can do that, you will have given your kids a wonderful gift — the ability to decide about and create something on their own.  How’s that for confidence and self-esteem???

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