More on Chores

Dec 272012
 
Siege of Warsaw by German forces in September ...

Siege of Warsaw by German forces in September of 1939. A Polish family performs their daily chores amidst the remnants of their household furnishings that they have reassembled outside the charred ruins of their home in Warsaw. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Family chores can be a hassle. When parents don’t have a plan, discussions about whose turn is it to sweep the front step, walk the dog or take out the recycling can become a good, long negotiation; sometimes even an argument. Who’s got time for that?

Parents who don’t expect kids to participate in household chores are not doing those kids any favors. Think about it. Are they training kids to expect maid service or helping them to embrace their role as fully vested family members who make vital contributions to the daily operation of the home?

If you first focus on the attention and consistency of the effort (rather than the quality of the dusting) you’ll be pleased with the results. Almost any household task can become a building block for personal accountability.

And a child who grows up knowing how to take responsibility for him or herself has a big head start as a grown-up!

 

 

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Life with Little Ones

Dec 272012
 

I got this one from a friend. David Crawford sings about parenting from ‘bedtime when the grown-ups are ready to crash and the little guys just can’t stop’ to morning routines to trying to corral everyone for dinner…. I think it’s great.

You Goofed? Hip, Hip, Hooray!

Dec 272012
 
Some of the contestants in the Scripps Nationa...

Some of the contestants in the Scripps National Spelling Bee, 2011 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it takes most kids years to find their strengths; if they don’t try everything that comes their way –from kickball to spelling bees– how will they discover their passions?

One thing that parents can model is to value ‘effort’ and ‘risk’. Kids whose parents praise things like ‘trying,’ ‘giving their best effort’ and ‘finishing what they’ve started’ seem to have kids who try, give their best effort and finish things!

While competition is a great teacher, there are also times that it is as important to reward participation as achievement. Rewarding the courage to compete builds confidence and helps to combat the stigma attached to losing.

People often forget that losing is nature’s best teacher. High achieving adults we’ve interviewed confirmed that adversity and struggle (e.g. ‘losing’) taught them what they needed to do to win the next time! Kids shouldn’t be afraid of losing. Hug and praise them no matter how well or poorly they do. Go easy on the sympathy if they lose. Soft-pedal the congratulations if they win. In either case, ask them what they learned or what they’ll try next time.

Remember, your offsprings’ ‘won/loss’ record is not a reflection of your parenting skill but their attitudes, values and ethics are. Whether they win or lose you can teach them to show the same respect for everyone who competes, to push themselves toward improvement and give to their best. As with so many aspects of being a parent, it’s all in how you approach it.

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