Protection or Problems?

May 142014
 
Hatched Egg

Hatched Egg (Photo credit: Mathew Knott) http://www.flickr.com/photos/93702253@N00/4652136186

 

Our children are now protected from papers marked with red pens,  other people’s food,  germs on the counter,  dirt at the playground and a whole lot of other things I just can’t think of at the moment.  While I appreciate the evolution of laws about seat belts and smoking I have to wonder whether we have distorted parental love and concern into something that is just not helpful to our children.  The desire to protect our children is normal and natural.  I just wonder if it has gone too far…. if perhaps we are creating more problems than we avoid.

If you don’t believe in the value of the struggle, then just ask your mother…. Mother Nature, that is!

Think about it:  little birds and chickens working hard to break out of their shells, salmon struggling upstream to spawn and helpless baby turtles inching toward the surf…Nature clearly favors those who struggle and adapt. Is that true of the rest of us?

 

 

On Enthusiasm

Apr 302014
 

 

"enthusiasm"

“enthusiasm” (Photo credit: TheAlieness GiselaGiardino²³)

 

“There is a real magic in enthusiasm.  It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale  

 

Have you ever noticed that enthusiastic people seem to enjoy life more than those who h0ld back?  It’s as if this trait makes colors brighter and experiences richer.  Maybe it really is the difference between mediocrity and excellence.

I suppose that makes sense; an early definition includes the phrase “having a god within.” Other definitions include words and phrases such as “a lively interest” or describes something that “absorbs or possesses the mind.”

Enthusiasm and passion seem to be natural in young children: running, jumping, yelling, laughing. In time that can change.  As we learn about “grown up behavior” we may skip a little less and sing a bit more quietly.  And when was the last time you didn’t want to fall asleep because you just didn’t want the day to end?

So if we learn to do a bit less running and jumping… and a good time doesn’t always result in grass-stains in the laundry, what does enthusiasm look like in grown-ups?  It may be quieter, but it may resemble habitual gratitude and chronic appreciation. Applause at the end of a performance?  Social media “likes” and “+”s?

How do you share enthusiasm with those around you?

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Competition, Excellence and Ivies

Apr 232014
 
Kindergarten Graduation Ceremony 2011

Kindergarten Graduation Ceremony 2011 (Photo credit: SFA Union City)

Have you seen this article about some who was suing their $19,000-a-year pre-school for damaging her child’s chance to get into an Ivy League college?

Whether I agree with spending $19,000 a year on pre-school (I don’t) or that graduating from one of the Ivies is a passport to Nirvana (ditto) is irrelevant.   We all want our children to excel. And since it takes most kids years to find their strengths, I don’t understand how  a few steps off the pre-determined path can be perceived as so harmful.

I’m a big fan of little guys trying everything that comes their way –from soccer to poetry.  Art, music, sports, languages…. if we don’t introduce them to ideas and experiences outside of our every day norms how will they figure out what they are passionate about?

And how do we find that fine between being supportive of our kids’ experiences without taking over?  Without making it “about” Mom or Dad?  I think it’s already hard enough for a kid to try something and fail without the added pressure of feeling they’ve disappointed a parent or two.

After all, while competition is a great teacher, there are many times that it is  important to reward participation and the courage it takes to try something new.  It’s easy to forget that losing is nature’s best teacher.  Time and again, high-achieving adults confirm adversity and struggle as the “teachers” that pushed them to win the next time!

Kids shouldn’t be afraid of losing.  Go easy on the sympathy if they lose.  Soft-pedal the congratulations if they win. In either case, ask them what they learned or what they’ll try next time.

 

 

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