Children’s – oops — I Mean Parents’ Good Manners Month

Sep 012009
 
Tea Party

Tea Party (Photo credit: annagarcia)

 

 

Did you know that September has been declared Children’s Good Manners Month?

OK. Everybody else will tell you that it’s Back to School Month or even Backpack Safety Month (please, please, please don’t overload the little guys. The Consumer Products Safety Commission estimates that 4,928 emergency room visits each year result from injuries related to book bags and back carriers. It’s bad for both their posture and their long-term spinal health.)

Did you see that I said ‘please’? Thank you for noticing.

I try to set a good example – and encourage other parents to do the same. I believe that it is the most important way that we teach our children anything.

What comes immediately to mind is the embarrassing stories that so many of us have to tell. You know, the ones in which our toddlers use “language”? The kind we didn’t know they’d overheard from us? Thank goodness they so often do it when they’re small and cute — and we still have the option to clean up our language before they go to school!

So, how will you take advantage of this special month to improve your family’s etiquette? I must admit that I am far less concerned with which fork to use in a restaurant or who holds the door for whom than I am with the concepts behind them.

Our modern code of conduct is based on thoughts and actions designed to make others feel more comfortable. For example, long ago men started extending their right (generally dominant) hands to one another to show that they were unarmed. We teach our children to offer snacks or toys to their guests first, largely for the same reasons: to promote hospitality, peace and harmony!

Do you teach the rules, the concepts or both? Do you have any favorites?  Thanks for reading – and for sharing your comments. It’s a really nice way to let us know that you’re checking in. (See? ‘rule’ AND ‘concept’!)

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And, to thank you for being a reader, we have a special back-to-school offer…. two (2) copies of What Kids Need to Succeed (with free shipping in continental US) for $30. One to keep and one to share. (A great way to thank someone???) Please click here to access this special offer.

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Adventures in Back-to-School Shopping

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Shopping mall

Shopping mall (Photo credit: pix.plz)

Back to school shopping ads have me thinking about the first time I took my son back-to-school shopping with his own money. He had spent the summer cleaning up roofing shingles and other debris on a construction site. It wasn’t ‘easy money.’

He set the budget. I contributed half. I was impressed by almost everything that happened after that. First, there was a thorough inventory of the closet. He decided that many of last year’s clothes were, in fact, still pretty good. Those that no longer suited him were packed up for either give-away or the consignment store. Next, he went through the paper and found out what stores were having sales, giving coupons and the like. Then, he made a list that included his basic needs – and some ‘wants.’

I’m generally a very fast shopper – probably because I don’t enjoy it all that much. I don’t think that I have ever spent so much time in a shopping mall – before or since!

He compared and contrasted, balanced wants and needs. We checked laundry labels (!) to make sure that he could handle the care required. He made notes – and went on to another store or two before ever parting with a dime.

It was wonderful to watch a young man who did not think he was good at math decide whether the “buy one get one free” was a marketing scam or in fact a better deal than the straight 15% off…. But a highlight that I remember, many years later, was when he found a designer shirt that had been marked down in a store where he had a coupon for a discount on the total purchase.

What a learning experience! Saving, budgeting and planning before hand followed by wants v. needs, decisions about quality and value, stretching your budget as far as possible, separating fact from marketing fiction…. There was also almost none of that negotiating or tension about what he liked versus what was sensible or what we could afford. He had all of the control.

Is it faster and easier to do the shopping ourselves? Probably. But if you can manage at least one “together trip” there are great lessons to be learned — and opportunities to see new strengths in our children. Even if you’re not ready to turn over the whole process, can you start with the school supplies? Or the shoes?

Who knows, maybe you’ll move on to groceries???

 

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