What if Goals Don’t Matter?

Oct 132009
 

Many of the workshops I teach are about setting goals and taking action to reach them.  Short articles don’t reflect one important discussion that often takes place in those workshops:  “what if our goals don’t matter?”

Now before you click off of the page, this is not as depressing as it first sounds.

The idea came from a long ago conversation with my friend Penny.  We were at a conference and had just attended a workshop that featured some very aggressive goal-setting and achievement techniques that didn’t really fit for either of us.  Busy Moms with demanding jobs and lots of interests, we wondered why we had both been so turned off by the speaker.

We were left with a similar question.  What if our goals don’t matter?

I suspect it’s a question a lot of people struggle with and we had a great discussion.  While there are certain things that are vital to achieve there are others that would just be nice.  Extras.  Dreams.  Fantasies. 

She and I were both struggling with the idea that, while we both like moving forward in accomplishment and believe that we have the ability to make at least some of our dreams come true, it is not always necessary.  We both had (and continue to have) wonderful lives and are very, very grateful for that.  And that is what made the new goals ‘not matter’ – the fact that life is full and wonderful the way it is.

I think that this is a vital step that may be missing from some of the ‘success teachings.’  We don’t have to be dissatisfied to set goals.  In fact, being grateful for what we already have is an important first step.  Full acknowledgement, gratitude and enjoyment of what we already have helps us to build on strengths.   It connects us with our strong foundation as we build an even better future.

The Woman Who Saved Baseball

Aug 192009
 

At the age of 8, the little girl was taking daily insulin injections for her newly diagnosed Type 1 diabetes. The following year she lost her Dad to heart disease. Growing up in a single-parent household, one of the ways she kept herself occupied was by reading. Although she loved reading Nancy Drew (“girl detective”) books, a doctor suggested that her health might not permit her to follow in Nancy’s footsteps. The then-popular TV show “Perry Mason” introduced her to another part of the legal system; by the time Sonia was ten, she knew that she would leave the housing project, go to college and become a lawyer.

 

The 111th justice of the US Supreme Court is the third female justice and the first Hispanic to serve on the high court. She grew up in a housing project in the Bronx. Her mother, Celia, served her country in the Women’s Army Corps and went on to work as a telephone operator and a practical nurse. In addition to her hardworking example, Celia stressed education. Their home is reported to have been one of the few in the project to own a set of encyclopedia. (Today’s equivalent might be a home computer with an Internet connection.)

 

Celia’s commitment to higher education paid off: Sonia graduated from Princeton University and received her law degree from Yale. Later, she taught at the New York University School of Law and Columbia Law School.

 

One does not have to be a student of the law to know a little bit about Justice Sotomayor – anyone old enough to remember the 1994 Major League Baseball strike knows who she is: the judge who issued the preliminary injunction that kept the owners from bypassing the existing collective bargaining process and bringing in replacement players.

 

After a more than 200-day strike, her ruling allowed the players to return to work – the day before the new (1995) season was scheduled to begin.

English: Sonia Sotomayor, U.S. Supreme Court j...

(Image via Wikipedia)

People sometimes say that the Four Foundations of Adult Achievement are “old school,” that they are not relevant any more. I see “Four Foundations” stories in the headlines every day; Justice Sotomayor is just one more example – even if she is a Yankees’ fan!

Summer Vocation

Jun 302009
 

No, it’s not a typo… you read it right….

Now that summer vacation is underway, it might be time to introduce your family to the concept of summer VO-cation.

Sleeping-in and swimming and riding bikes are all great fun but instead of focusing only on firing up the backyard barbecue you might want to think about ways to fire up your kids’ imaginations!

There are lots of ways to do this, but the more flexible schedules and attitudes that come along with summer break may provide you with the chance to introduce the kids to different kinds of job opportunities. What may seem mundane to a grown-up can be intriguing to somebody who has never really considered how this particular process or product comes to life.

Get creative. Who do you know with an unusual job or job setting? Can you take a family field trip to a farm or a dog training class? How about a boat yard or a campground? How about visiting a bakery, a golf course or a plant nursery? Notice things. Ask questions. Exposure to new people, places and can open up conversations about the different kinds of work that people do… and may open up a whole new area of interest for someone you love!

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